From the creators of body butter –
New! Body marmalade!
Rub it on your skin!
It smells of oranges!
For external use only!
It’s rich in sugar!
Keep out of reach of children!
It’s either a kind of jam or just very like jam!
Do not exceed the stated dose!
It doesn’t really go with anything!
Preserve your youth with new body marmalade!
——
And introducing –
New! Body bovril!
What is it? No one really knows!
Use it for moisturising!
It’s got beef in it maybe!
Your skin will absorb it!
It’s got a thicker-than-normal consistency!
Put it on your dry lips in winter!
Men who like football will love it for some reason!
Extract the best from your body (okay we Googled it, it’s a meat extract so that pun technically works!) with new body bovril!
Matthew Weldon's Dangerous Thoughts 